If there is no consensus on the concept of money, maybe after marriage, that problem will damage the feelings between the two. Money and economics are always a very difficult thing to talk about and to solve. It is the same between husband and wife. If you don’t come to an agreement from the beginning and speak clearly to each other, then trouble will come.
I don’t dare to get married because my girlfriend is wasteful
Recently, on the social network Dcard (China), a guy shared his story.
Accordingly, this guy said he has a girlfriend for 5 years. This girl is smart, beautiful, high income and good at everything. She also knows how to care and take care. “Her biggest and only flaw is her extreme wastefulness”, he shared. And for this reason, he did not dare to get married.
It is known that she makes 80,000-90 thousand New Taiwan Dollars (about 62-70 million VND) every month. However, the amount of savings she has after many years of working is only NT$200 thousand (about more than VND 150 million).
The reason is that every month the girl spends wildly. Shopping for bags, clothes, shoes, skin care products or eating out at restaurants accounts for most of her income. That’s why she couldn’t save money.
Meanwhile, this guy’s income is on par with his girlfriend. However, every month, he tries to save nearly half of his income. Therefore, he now has more than NT$1 million in savings (more than VND 780 million).
The guy thinks that when he falls in love, he doesn’t dare to interfere, but if he gets married, the girl still maintains this lifestyle, it’s easy to argue. When he gives advice, his girlfriend will probably wince and think that he doesn’t owe anyone and spends his own money:
“What’s wrong with using money to enjoy life?”
He also told his girlfriend that after getting married, he should make a money plan. Because he understands its important role. If you spend carelessly, you will be very insecure.
Girlfriend replied: “You’ve already saved so much, why worry about money anymore? That’s my view of money, it’s not that I don’t have any savings, it’s just that it’s a little bit. I’ve never had enough. Now spend your money indiscriminately.”
That answer made him afraid and somewhat hesitant about marriage: “If after getting married, she still doesn’t save money, am I the only one worried about saving money for my family?”
In addition, he also struggled with many other issues related to the economy. He needs advice because he’s been in love for 5 years and can’t delay any longer. However, the two still cannot agree on such an economic point of view, his girlfriend still holds the notion that having money to spend, he feels extremely insecure.
Immediately after the share was posted, it received many lively discussions from netizens. Some argue that the point of view of the use of money is very important. If the two can’t agree, even if they get married later, they will also divorce because of the quarrels.
“You really need to discuss and come to an agreement on money if you two want to get married.”an opinion shared.
“There is no wrong or right in spending money, the main thing is that your views are contradictory, it can easily lead to conflicts. Need to clearly agree otherwise it’s not good.” said another opinion.
How to avoid money conflicts in marriage?
The money problem is closely related to reality and of course also entails many problems that we do not anticipate. Therefore, in marriage, husband and wife need to come to an agreement on how to manage and spend money to avoid conflicts.
Here are ways to avoid money conflicts in married life.
1. Have a frank talk before marriage
In the process of discussing for marriage, this is an issue that also needs to be made clear. How to contribute and spend, how to save, how to discuss large expenses in advance, both sides need to frankly discuss.
In addition, the two also talked about personal debts or unpaid loans. In addition, the two of you should also disclose your income and discuss clearly whether one person will keep all or both will share who spends what.
2. Don’t hide purchases
Many people sometimes “get up” and start shopping madly. If you have to hide something new from your partner, it probably won’t be necessary for your life. Hiding your purchases can damage trust between the two of you.
3. Set a spending limit
To avoid money conflicts, both of you also create a monthly spending budget. It will clearly calculate your income and expenses so that both of you don’t get “overstretched” or have out-of-budget expenses.
4. Be flexible and balanced in spending
Although saving is a priority in spending, couples should also know how to be flexible and balance everything. You should not be too strict about money, but besides the fixed amounts, there should also be accounts for fun, entertainment or other arising problems. If you live in a way that is too careful and calculated, then there may be trouble between the two of them at that time.
5. Don’t deny anyone’s money views, balance them
Two people living in the same house sometimes have different views on how to spend money. Therefore, the two of you should listen to each other, do not rush to completely negate the other’s point of view. Both sides need to talk, receive each other’s opinions and come to a conclusion on the most appropriate way to spend and save but still meet the needs of each party.