When the ‘other half’ has a dating app on their phone

yell out? decided to drop out? Why do lovers have to download dating apps on their phones? Who to set up to date? A series of opening questions will pop up immediately. All the anger kept coming.

loss of sleep due to jealousy

For two months now, N.Anh (25 years old, lives in District 3, Ho Chi Minh City) always feels uneasy and irritable whenever she goes out with her boyfriend. N. Anh explained to her boyfriend that it was because of the increasing pressure of work, too much stress but in reality it was not so.

This is because he accidentally discovered that his girlfriend’s “cricket” has several dating apps installed. She could feel uneasiness starting to bubble up in her thoughts. You said that you accidentally saw the applications displayed on the phone screen, deliberately not suspecting your boyfriend. He loves you very much, but n. He’s really worried, standing by every time he can’t get in touch with her, or every time she reschedules an appointment, even if he gives a good reason.

“Sometimes I see him smiling, maybe reading news or surfing the net, playing games, but still I feel uncomfortable. He doesn’t agree to delete dating apps because he thinks it There is secrecy. The conflict between the two has escalated since then.” N. Anh said.

Ever since it was discovered that her husband had a dating app on his phone, Ms. T. Thanh (32, lives in Phu Nuan District, Ho Chi Minh City) is both surprised and angry. Partly because she’s just given birth to a baby, she’s more flamboyant and more sensitive. But the other part is that she has little self-confidence when she feels that her appearance has become markedly worse than before.

Unable to control herself, she spoke harshly to him, “I think I wanted to set up a second room, so I downloaded that app,” though her husband explained that it was just a free app. He uses some for curiosity, some to avoid having FOMO (Fear of Missing Out, roughly translated: syndrome of missing out on something that a crowd of friends knows or has the chance to experience Is).

Very upset, Ms. T. Than said and admitted that many times when she saw her husband sleeping, she would plan to take her husband’s fingerprints to open the phone, and suddenly check that “What’s in it he has to download”.

listen to yourself and your “other half”

Sharing about the above issue, Ms. Nguyen Thuy Lien (Self Elevate Coaching Company) said that in a nutshell a lasting relationship is not a relationship without challenges, but one that weathers storms that are more stable and durable goes.

According to Ms. Thuy Lien, when couples search for dating apps on their “other half’s” phones, it can be a sign for both of them to look at their current relationship status. Needless to mention, if a problem comes up, take a look at it and practice honest listening, make yourself even better.

“Insiders need to really listen to themselves to see what they are feeling and what need that feeling leads to. How that need reflects our current view of the relationship. Only Only when we take the time to talk, listen to ourselves, and understand our own problems, can we calmly listen to the “other half” properly”, Ms. Lien analyzed.

According to Ms. Lien, constructive listening is not only about understanding but also about finding a solution that truly satisfies both parties, without anyone having to sacrifice their own needs. And clearly both have to determine that they both listen to each other in order to find a solution, not find excuses to blame, blame or criticize each other.

With the same thinking, some individuals have successfully solved the above problem, many of you share in online groups that it is possible to turn “threat” into “opportunity”. “There are two very important things that insiders need to do to be honest and real with each other. We even tell each other the passwords to our personal phone and dating app accounts. And the fact that we quietly tell each other— monitor the other. The other party’s phone just makes it more stressful, tiring and harder to avoid everything,” lawyer Jim shared on the Quora page.

Meanwhile, Connor – a writer – reveals that he and his wife met each other through a dating app. According to Connor, in the process of being in love and not getting married, it is acceptable to have a dating app installed on your phone. “When we buy a shirt, sometimes we have to try it on several times before making a decision. So in choosing a person to spend life with, it is even more important to consider finding the “other half” One that really fits. Appropriate. ,” Connor argued.

And Thuy Lien suggests: “Try to change our perspective, sometimes we will see that things are not as bad as we thought, but sometimes it is an opportunity to help the relationship deepen and strengthen “

Type in the English search keywords “What should I do when I find a dating app on my boyfriend’s phone?”, immediately returning 132 million results. This shows that this is not only a domestic couple problem or heartache, but also a worldwide headache! And there are many online groups that have been set up for people to share and discuss solutions to this nagging pain…