Get rid of the ‘loo when the family is full

Not only men, but also women, few dare to claim that they have never been “addicted”, but the most important thing is how to be brave enough to get rid of the “addiction” that Start now to avoid consequences later.

Some psychologists say that after about ten years of marriage, when a woman finds peace of mind with her husband and children, she puts aside worries and troubles such as economy and family pressure, she often returns to her family. spends more time with. At the time, “sunstroke” was easy to find. How can I be brave enough to overcome the “get drunk”, not allow myself to “sink deeply” in love, in the desire for another man, who is not her husband?

“Drunk” in mind.

Ms. D.H. (41 years old, in Hanoi) Relieved of psychological burden when experiencing “sunstroke”.

In the last Tet holiday, on the occasion of class reunion, she met her first love, a fellow student who had been with her from school years to student love. “I had to work very hard to stop adultery in my mind” – Ms. D.H. confess.

Now married for 15 years, they have two obedient and well-educated children, outsiders look at the couple’s life with admiration. Stable job, enough money for the couple to convert to a higher class apartment. But he admitted that the couple had a rift as soon as they moved into the new house.

Originally from a small town in Hanoi, she and her husband told each other to work hard, save up, and buy a small house in the suburbs. Work is far away, but the two made it a rule that no matter how busy they were at work, they would leave it and go home before dinner. It’s reunion dinners every night that have helped her “keep the fire going” of family love for the past 15 years.

“But from the day we got home, we rarely sat down to eat together during the week. When he came home from work, some friends in the apartment invited him over to play games until the evening, and the kids “Lottery chala di”. At first, I also cooked dinner for waiting father and son, but many times I had to leave the leftover food, and now no one was waiting for food” – Ms. D. H. Regret.

He tried a few “fire-keeping strategies”, from confiding softly to having a spat of words, or telling his children to call their father over for dinner, but at times he was so happy that Used to scold him. Whole child. There are now more buckets and buckets of chopsticks in the new house for a little laugh. In the end he thought it better to remain silent. She justifies herself now that the situation in every family is the same, children take care of their studies and it is better for them to play sports.

She calmed down. Until I met my first love. They met at the class reunion. The man’s loving eyes were still looking at her as before. As soon as they sat down at the same table, they came closer, boldly asking for each other’s contact numbers…

Returning, he started remembering those eyes. When her husband went out to play sports, she would send him messages and share her thoughts. The thrill of the past is back and she can’t stop it. When he told his story to the old people, it seemed as if he got relief from all the troubles.

Around that time, she began paying more attention to her appearance, buying several new dresses, rewarding herself with her favorite pair of heels—an item she’d forgotten about during all those years of her youth. Take care of your husband and children.

She enthusiastically went to the kitchen, cooked delicious food – not for her husband, but to take pictures and show him.

rearrange your soul

“At one point when a family film was being shown on TV, there was a scene where the husband brought his suitcase to bring his wife back to her mother’s house, the daughter suddenly hugged her mother and whispered: ” Mom, you must live a very happy life. It’s okay!”. Tears welled up suddenly, I woke up intoxicated” – Ms. D.H. Memorization.

She chose to share with her daughter, telling her about warm family meals, about the family happiness shared and talked together after a tiring day. Then it was the daughter who whispered this to her father, helping him to “wake up”. He spends less time playing sports, paying attention to his wife and returning home early to help her in the small kitchen. Their children also try to rearrange their studies so that they can have dinner with their mother.

As for him, the first thing to do after getting rid of “sunstroke” is to break all contact with old people. She immediately signed up for a yoga class to release negative energy and clear her mind.

There are times when the old man’s image briefly flashes in her mind, but she smiles to remind herself that it is only a temporary “sunstroke”. To rekindle the “fire of love”, she sets up dates with her husband every week. At the end of the episode, the two “turned into a married couple”, holding hands and enjoying the fresh air away from the inner city, taking away all the miseries of life.

When a woman doesn’t feel the need for emotional support

Sharing with Tuoy Tre, psychologist Nguyen Ngoc Hoang, a member of the Vietnam Psychotherapy Association, said that in fact, there are many happy families, full lives, but women are still “enchanted”.

“Both sexes can develop their feelings for many different people, not just one person. Sometimes love and attraction can develop on the basis of a deep, understanding, compatible sharing of things like personality, hobbies. ..

However, in a situation where a woman prefers another man when she is married, it is quite possible that the spiritual, emotional support and understanding the woman needs is not found in her current family, but in herself. More precisely than the current husband” – expert Hoang analysis.

According to experts, when faced with the feelings of “sunstroke”, the first thing to do at this moment is to understand yourself. Analyze and understand your feelings and emotions. Try to objectively consider whether it is a temporary feeling or a permanent feeling by writing down suggestions and evidence.

Next, give reasons why you like that man and not your husband or someone else. Are their traits part of their personality or just a momentary manifestation?

Then review your relationship with your husband, what shortcomings do you and your husband need to overcome that the couple has not realized for a long time?

Talk to your husband about your current feelings about your relationship and express that this is a necessary period to understand each other in order to build a relationship.

let’s grow love every day

Many people believe that when they get married, there will be no need to nurture and pamper each other like in the days of love in order to have children. This is what makes many families estranged, at risk of separation.

According to psychologist Ngoc Hoang, husband and wife need to regularly talk, share, exchange, understand… to develop a relationship that doesn’t fade away.

Each member of the family has a definite role to play in building family happiness, with husband and wife being the two main influencers. So, if the mindset of one of the two people is always in a situation where there is no need to nurture and pamper each other like before, then this is one of the main mistakes that lead to breakup. becomes the reason.

Every couple will have a different way of developing affection. Let’s spend time alone through daily activities, take time to listen and understand each other, help each other grow in parenthood and career, share family responsibilities, saying loving words, giving gifts, hugging Express love for each other by hugging, kissing… Let’s work together to proactively resolve conflicts that arise in a relationship.