When women bring home matters to the world for discussion

Family matters are such that sometimes only you can solve, listen to yourself to make wise decisions. According to psychological experts, settling down is the most profound solution.

Thanks to the online community “Repair Marriage”

“My husband and I have been married for over 10 years and we have two children. During the 10 years of marriage, I have sacrificed myself to be with my husband’s family…” – Ms. NTD Started your shared post from a group society. She hopes to get everyone’s suggestions to “improve” her marriage.

After this opening sentence, Ms. NTD listed a series of bad habits of her husband, such as drinking too much alcohol, listening to his mother-in-law, not knowing how to protect his wife and children, not being good at earning money.. .

Talking about herself, Ms. TD said that when she had to live with her mother-in-law for the last 10 years, she had to face many disadvantages.

“Although my mother-in-law is not very picky or strict, she only knows how to complain all day long. When she is sick, she complains ten times. She always calls her mother sick, but in fact she eats better than me She never touches anything in the house. Sometimes when she sees her grandson crying, she closes the door to sleep or picks up the phone. Not to mention the big and small fights No,” Ms TD shared on the social network.

After only one day, his article had received hundreds of mixed comments. Notably, the article attracted many other women to tell a “wilderness” of stories about being a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the conflicts they face while living together. Many “urged” her to divorce and live separately so as not to be dependent on her husband’s family…

Ironically, Ms. TD’s husband is also a “secret” member of this group, so he accidentally saw this post two days later. Even though he hid the poster’s name, the husband recognized his wife after reading the content and decided to “respond.”

Mr T. Cuong said that after the couple got married, he was the only one working, so he was under a lot of financial pressure. For the past 10 years, his wife has no intention of finding a job, only her mother is left at home, and the couple has not been able to buy their own house, so they have decided to live with her mother to both save money and afford expenses. decided. Take care of him. Old mother.

Mr. Cuong acknowledged that conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are inevitable when living together, but he also accused his wife of being lazy. “Even though both children go to school all day, instead of working to help her husband, she hangs out at home. “Laziness is cruel”, visiting neighbors to “gossip” and scolding her mother-in-law. The situation is worse. The conflict between two people is becoming more and more tense. So how should we “handle” it?”, Mr. Cuong commented.

The unexpected appearance of her husband makes Ms. TD’s story tense, further increasing everyone’s opinion. Due to too much pressure, Ms. TD immediately removed the card.

Similarly, in a group on Facebook, there is a “Marriage Repair” group with over 140,000 members, which has many posts sharing about their marital status. Many women share stories of their husband’s adultery, or “hunting”, or even “having sex”… which everyone discusses with great enthusiasm.

In an anonymous post, Ms Thuy Nung shared that her husband loves his wife very much, takes care of their children, and does not drink or gamble, but recently he has been working away a lot. Are, come back only once every 1-2 months. , Working away from his wife and children, the husband went on dating sites and had a girlfriend.

Although Ms. Thuy Nhung was extremely saddened, she decided to forgive in order to rebuild her family and take care of her child. However, she forgave him at first, as she was very suspicious, so she hired someone else to test her husband. And unfortunately her husband “got duped” by using a virtual account to date a man hired by his wife…

After being posted, the story also received hundreds of shares. Most people advised her to get a divorce and collect her wealth to take care of her children.

Don’t make your story the story of the crowd.

Wanting to find a solution to the “mess” in their married life, women often go to groups in the hope of a solution. But most people are more distressed and confused. Psychologists refer to this problem as “turning your back on people.”

And this is also the frank sharing of psychologist Bui Hong Kwan (HCMC). “First, if we put ourselves in the role of the person sharing, we can empathize.

Why do they share? Surely they are facing difficulties and confusion for which no solution has yet been found, and they want to know other people’s thoughts. And the need to share is a need that deserves respect because it’s a legitimate need, anyone can have it,” Kwan said.

However, according to Mr Kwan, where to share and how to get other people’s opinions are more important. Due to the fact that each story will be a different situation written by the person sharing it, from a different and very subjective point of view.

This expert analyzes: “What we share will be what we want to say and see the problem in our own way, but it is not certain that it is the objective truth. The person who receives the story will interpret it as his own.” Will understand what we want to say according to the information available.

It is possible that those taking part in sharing their opinions will have experience or want to help others. But each story, one problem, if presented subjectively, one person’s personal experience may not be completely true for others.

I see that there are many cases of unintentional sharing, which leads to the “household issue” story being pushed away when it is discussed.

“Eight” things in the office

During a coffee session with a friend who works in the media industry, he asked me: “Did you know that people usually spend the most of the 8 hours they sleep in the office and Z in the morning?”.