When bringing a family together, in addition to being responsible for each other, husband and wife also bear responsibility for their children – Photo: Quang Dinh
Is there happiness?
When I fix the “pieces”
Since giving birth to her first daughter, Ms. Bao Tran (lives in District 8, Ho Chi Minh City) has been staying at home to care for her child. At this time, Mr. Jia Khoi quit his job and went to open his own company, so she occasionally helped with the business. When her daughter was 2 years old, Ms. Tran was pregnant with her second child and had no intention of going back to work because she was busy taking care of the child and doing housework.
Ms. Tran said that she gradually changed and became older in everything. She naively believes in her husband’s eternal love and honesty. Until one day her husband had a “second room” as a secretary. You go to court. After their separation, they agreed not to divide their children or property. He agreed to leave the house for the parents and children to live in and to meet the children every Sunday.
After the breakup, she resumed doing work that matched the profession she had studied. After going back to work, she realized she had made a mistake by choosing a final path by staying at home to raise her children.
The new life helps him to gain confidence and renew himself. On Sundays, she leaves the house so that she and her father can have their own place. Then, as if an agreement had been reached between father and daughter, when the eldest daughter began to beg her mother to go out together and spend their holidays in Vung Tau, Da Lat…
As your children are becoming more and more mature, they always ask the question “Why don’t mom and dad live together?” And find a way to live with the parents. After the breakup she realized that she is more mature and stronger.
Then one day, he asked his daughter to send him a long letter reviewing the past, recounting her mistakes, and apologizing so that the children could have adequate parents.
After several days of contemplation, he nodded to her to return. Needless to say how happy both their children were. After a period of loss and hurt, they said they both learned to fix the broken pieces of their marriage and found the value of family.
In a different situation, Ms. Phuong Vi (lives in Hai Chau District, Da Nang), with two children, still did not think that one day the couple would take each other to court to end their marriage because He was upset with his partner. ,
Instead of sitting down and talking openly with the husband and wife, she took revenge on being her husband’s girlfriend by rekindling her old relationship with her classmate after the class reunion. She said that her actions were only intended to make her husband realize his wife’s value and return to the family.
Unexpectedly, he thought she was not a good wife, and used this as evidence to insist on going to court for divorce. Feeling hurt, she immediately signed the form to free each other without stopping.
Only when life and children especially are divided in half, they both feel the loss of their two children. The elder daughter lives with her father, the younger son lives with his mother. Shortly after her parents’ divorce, the daughter showed symptoms of depression, causing him to become extremely anxious.
Seeing his child crying in his dreams, calling his mother, remembering his mother and sister, he realized how much a close bond breaks in a relationship. On the other hand, Ms. Wei also felt pain because she lived far away from her child, and she was confused when her son asked questions about his father and sister all day. Both the children could not accept the separation of their lives. They came into a state of imbalance which forced them to rethink.
Then they met at the hospital without an appointment, because two of their children were sick and they had to go to the emergency room. Seeing the two sisters lying on the hospital bed, happily talking to each other and embracing each other after many days of separation, tears welled up in their eyes. At this time, they also had the opportunity to see each other since the day of the divorce. He tried to find a way to return to her.
Ms. Y admitted that the reason she and her husband sought to restore their marriage was because of the harm caused to their children. Before, you only cared about yourself and didn’t think about your children’s feelings. This was a mistake that they had to change after getting back together.
Don’t repeat past mistakes
A broken family can arise from mistakes in the lives of one or both of the spouses, so when two people restore their marriage, they must definitely avoid past mistakes.
It is not easy for a couple to find love again after a breakup. It requires each person to be tolerant and forgiving of their partner’s mistakes in the past, especially those leading to previous marriage breakdowns. In fact, every family that does not fix their marriage after a breakup comes from “the truth of not being able to live without each other” so that “the broken mirror is fixed”.
After divorce, some couples live independently for a while, but realize that remarriage is even more complicated, with the risk of not being as good as their old marriage because of the relationship between common children and stepchildren. Some people, after a failed marriage, are unable to find new happiness, have difficulty living alone, and do not have enough confidence to move forward.
There are also people who feel that they have to live more for their children and do not let their children live in a broken family. They realized that although their old marriage was a little unhappy, it was still better than the difficulties after the divorce. So they found a way to recover and reunite.
The broken experience of your first marriage will always be useful in your current life, helping both of you avoid repeating the same mistakes. If your marriage fails due to financial problems, clearly determine how you will handle money matters. If the matter is about child rearing then discuss it first.
If the divorce was caused by infidelity, find out why the spouse had an affair, knowing the root cause will help resolve the infidelity, forgive and rebuild trust.
In any breakup there are reasons on both sides, it is important to understand that the first marriage is over. No matter how hard it is, don’t let it overshadow your second marriage when you come back and remarry. Don’t dwell on the mistakes you’ve made, instead focus on the future.
Many couples have to go through challenges and ups and downs to realize the real value of happiness. When marriages break down, they lose each other in life, children have to live apart, they learn the lesson to appreciate happiness and value the family home more.
Because when joining a family together, in addition to being responsible for each other, the husband and wife also bear the responsibility of their children.
And they have no right to put their children’s rights and happiness after their own while giving birth to them in this life.
change for the better
According to psychological experts, to make the marriage happy again after “healing the broken mirror”, husband and wife should live in the style of “new wine in old bottles”. From the outside, their marriage is still the same as before, but not every husband and wife can remain the same.
They have to actually change their thoughts and actions in their daily interactions with each other. Husband and wife need to listen and respect each other more.
In other words, the skill of living together as a couple after divorce and remarriage is many times more necessary than before.
Because apart from making the married life happy, they also have the responsibility of healing the wounds of the previous breakup.
A broken vase, no matter how you fix it, will still have cracks. No matter who is skilled, stretch marks will fade and become difficult to notice; If one is clumsy, the cracks will easily break at any time.
Forgiveness helps us be happy
