Two prominent social cognitive scientists conducted a study. The topic is “the influence of language ability in preschool age on children’s ability to learn later”. The research team selected 42 family groups from different walks of life as a model. Most of these children were around 7-9 months old and were followed up for 3 years.
Each month, the researchers set up one hour of indoor filming, recording interactions between children and parents. Statistics show that, in families with mental workers, most children can hear 487 sentences per hour. And in the families that received the relief, the children were barely hearing 178 sentences an hour.
The daily gap may not seem like much, but after three years, children in the two types of families have a difference of 32 million words. What an amazing number! Parents talking to their children more is actually a great way to improve their IQ.
Sometimes, a child’s adulthood gap is not simply a genetic or intellectual gap, but the details that determine success or failure! The daily conversations and face-to-face interactions between parents and children may seem trivial, but like a little puzzle, it gradually affects a child’s entire future. If the adult conversational “emotional intelligence” is low, the child may become increasingly stupid. Therefore, parents should not ignore the details in life.
Scientific studies have confirmed that there are 3 golden stages for brain development of children, which are 0-3 years old, 3-7 years old and 7-10 years old. During these golden years, “time is the intelligence quotient” of a child. The higher the quality of the parent-child relationship, the more intelligent the child.
In the thinking and logic process of immature children, parents and children talk more, reason more can promote children’s learning and development. Thinking needs to be cultivated from a young age, it is very beneficial to talk to children more and tell them about the world.
So how do parents talk to their children effectively? There are 3 rules as follows:
1. Care, empathy
Many parents don’t know what their children are thinking. Children are young, their understanding of the world is limited and their language ability is still weak. The child’s expression is often not clear, at this time parents need to pay more attention. Many parents have to make a lot of judgment during the parenting phase, such as when the baby is fussy, hungry or needs a diaper change, etc. These are all part of the child’s own language.
However, as children get older and vocabulary grows, many parents ignore their child’s needs. It is said that when the child grows up and is capable of basic self-care, it is time to let go. However, this thinking is wrong.
This stage is also an important period for children to grow up, just like adults, children will have their own emotions and needs but are not as mature as adults. During this stage, parents can think about some issues from the point of view of their children. Don’t think of children as creatures without their own awareness and needs.
There is a case as follows: The mother of the boy Xiaoming (China) took her child out to play. At noon, the sun was a bit harsh, Xiaoming suddenly stood on the side of the road and refused to leave, no matter how much his mother held on, he did not listen, nor cry, nor say anything. Tieu Minh’s mother carefully looked around, and it turned out that there was a little girl about half a year old sitting on a stone bench by the roadside, wearing a thin coat, eating ice cream. So Tieu Minh’s mother squatted down, pulled Tieu Minh and said: “Baby, it’s early spring, the wind is still cold, we can’t eat ice cream outside, will be sick, sick is very uncomfortable.”
Xiaoming’s attention was immediately attracted by his mother’s words, he turned his head and asked his mother: “Mom, what is the disease in early spring? Why are we sick?”.
2. Full communication
Communication is important for adults and so are children. Communicating with children can foster parent-child relationships. Parents don’t be lazy. Some parents play cell phones every day when they get home, and do not communicate with their children at all.
Because of this, the child can only play alone, and cannot absorb more information at the best age.
At this age, most things cannot be clearly revealed, at this time parents need to pay more attention to what children want to express. Children’s minds are not as simple as adults imagine. Children have “seven feelings and six desires” and parents need to listen carefully to their child’s voice.
3. Take turns speaking
Increasing the amount of information in communication is also important for parents. Don’t be afraid to say many children don’t understand, there are many ways to do this as well. After the parent tells the child about an extended event, he needs to interact with the child and check the outcome of the child’s acceptance of the knowledge. For example, Xiaoming’s mother, when she told her son about being sick, the boy immediately asked his mother what it was, why it was uncomfortable.
Parents can use such simple “yes or no” or “true or false” small questions to differentiate a child’s acceptance of the problem. Of course, the level of receptivity is limited at first, but gradually with the accumulation and enrichment of knowledge, the child’s ability to absorb everything will certainly increase.
Many parents say they don’t want their child to lose at the starting line. More communication and rich vocabulary will promote children’s intellectual and psychological development, thereby enhancing children’s abilities in more ways. Parents, remember that the more you talk to your child, the more receptive the child is to other children, this is the real “winning at the starting line”.