‘Private space’ in marriage…

Private space in marriage... - Photo 1.

Moments together – Photo: Q.DINH

In other words, the personal space of each person in marriage is often controversial in many modern families today.

Have been kept private stuff?

Married for less than two years, but the home of Hoang Hung – Thu Giang (Ninh Kieu district, Can Tho) is always confused just because the husband and wife have the right to keep private things or not. Hung is an extrovert with thousands of friends on Facebook including old classmates, colleagues and students. Teaching…

While Giang is introverted, she only keeps in regular contact with a few close friends from high school. Every time someone jokes or comments with Hung, it’s like Giang blames and hates all sorts of things.

Not to mention the many times Giang was jealous of the past love stories when friends teased Hung with a number of peach blossoms from that time until now, even though he went to the water many times to repent. feel, explain…

Hong An (Thanh Khe district, Da Nang) is extremely distressed about the fact that Duc Tri often peeks at her phone and searches the hard drive in her laptop even though she does not hide anything from her husband.

Many times, the two of them sat down to talk about all the things they were always angry and doubtful about, but then her husband still got sick. An said she didn’t dare to tell anyone because she was afraid of others laughing, so she consoled herself that Mr. Tri truly loved her, so he acted jealously in a weird way. so.

On the contrary, two friends Dinh Long and Ngoc Lan (Tan Binh district, Ho Chi Minh City) have very open thoughts but always keep the family atmosphere always warm outside.

Both are of the same opinion that although they are husband and wife, each person has the right to keep his or her own space, as long as it does not affect family happiness.

Specifically, do not see each other’s phones and laptops, and have the right not to connect and interact with each other on social networks. The husband does not ask his wife’s salary, on the contrary, the wife does not ask her husband’s money to use it what to buy…

Binding each other to what extent?

Many people after getting married find themselves always tied and imprisoned by the “excessive” attention of their spouses. Some people even find ways to control their spouses not only at work, money but also friends and social relationships. In general, they feel constrained, life becomes suffocating and lose all autonomy by individuals.

Some people get married, and require the other to stay side by side with each other like a picture and a shadow and think that it is a happy family. Then there are people who suddenly have to sacrifice all their personal interests to please their wife or her husband.

Reality shows that in life everyone needs a private sky. It is respect for relationships of friends, colleagues, personal interests or private moments in each person’s soul, for each person to reflect on the time that has passed, to examine themselves. .

Saying that does not mean that we have the right to forget the common things in the family. Do not be too free because being too free can make the marriage risky.

Sometimes, that “distance” does not make love less, but can be the “strengthening” drugs that make the couple’s love more passionate. When they separate, they have the opportunity to explore themselves, discover their self-worth, and see the importance of each other.

Therefore, husband and wife need to respect each other’s private space, that space is their own relationships, spaces, desires, decisions and many other things.

When the two do not get along, do not understand each other, do not empathize and do not adjust their egos, harmonize the particular with the common, in order to be able to feel in tune with each other, their married life will become more and more harmonious. suffocated, frustrated.

The suffocation in marriage only occurs when one of the two people values ​​their ego too much, considers themselves the best, forcing the partner to lose their own, happy space to serve their own desires.

Do not force each other to sacrifice all personal interests

Everyone needs their own space like breathing their own air, making life more poetic. Giving each other time and space to think privately is essential to maintaining a lasting relationship.

According to psychologists, in married life, there is no denying the need for private moments, but it is necessary to know how to create common relationships between husband and wife that is the main thing to keep family happiness. family is durable.

However, both should also know how to skillfully cultivate feelings for each other, do not let the other feel like an outsider, or a stranger. That private space really needs a limit… If you leave it too free, the private space gets bigger and bigger, the risks of separation, independence, and ego of each person will be great.

The limit of private space is honesty, voluntary communication and mutual trust; is the awareness of each person in building trust in each other. Do not use that private space to serve temporary desires, to justify obscure things.

With a sincere love, big enough, deep enough, bold enough, two people will adjust their own private space to suit the person they love. After all, that private space should only be a small piece of heaven that is used occasionally!

Marriage is not always Marriage is not always ‘warm’

TTO – ‘Every family goes through certain conflicts. We accept that fact so that when conflict arises, we do not take it seriously, do not see it as a sign of breakdown. That’s the share of education doctor Nguyen Thi Thu Huyen sent to the Home.

Leave a Comment