Anyone with children of primary school age will probably agree that one of the biggest headaches is how to get your child to wake up on time for school, and have to sit at the desk to do homework when it’s time to go to school. On forums, it is not difficult to find status lines complaining about children’s lack of discipline and lack of self-discipline. “Just reminding children to study is enough for the day, and soon they will be old before their time”a mother clamored exclamation!
However, have you ever tried to make an assumption: If I “ignore” it, let me do whatever I want, what will happen? Surely most parents will be skeptical: Going by the back to remind them won’t work, ignoring it, yes… skipping school. But is that true in reality?
There is a story that has made many people talk about: A female student named Tieu Di (China) in a tutoring class always works slowly and doesn’t like to think, especially in Math. In the simplest math problems, this student also waits for help from the teacher. Once, while doing a math problem to calculate the area of a rectangle, the girl also raised her hand and said she couldn’t do it.
Student: Teacher, how do you do this question?
Teacher: Just remember the formula that the area of a rectangle is equal to the length times the width.
Student: What is the length and width, please tell me.
Teacher: You just need to read the topic.
Student: I read it, but I don’t know how.
Teacher: Just take the data and put the formula to calculate the area of the rectangle.
Student: What is the formula?
Teacher: Do you remember the formula for the area of a rectangle that I just told you?
Student: I don’t remember. Can you show me how to write it? (She said with a pleading face.)
The conversation when shared made everyone feel surprised. Many people also believe that Tieu Di intentionally teased the teacher, but in fact, she did not remember the real formula. Tieu Di’s parents go to work far away, grandparents take care of her, Tieu Di just needs to “open her mouth and wait for figs”, everything is arranged by her grandparents okay, touching a little, she still coddles, loses her temper.
The girl is so lazy that she doesn’t want to think about the problem, doesn’t want to solve the problem, just waits for her family to do it instead. If help doesn’t come, she will feel heartbroken like the whole world “debts” her. It is possible to imagine what will happen to her in the future. With poor tolerance and resistance to failure, Xiao Yi can only engage in simple tasks.
It is human nature to be willing to follow one’s own thoughts and refuse the orders of others. Therefore, in the process of raising children, in order for children to form a sense of independence, we should try our best to let children think and choose for themselves.
If parents always urge their children to go to school,
If parents always remind their children to eat,
If parents are always the ones who remind their children to do homework, activities, take a bath…
This overprotection of parents even though their children are no longer young will make some children just like to eat and play all day, without worrying about anything because they have parents. A child’s life when too dependent on his parents is often not independent, lazy, and the future is very uncertain.
In some families, parents often criticize their children for being lazy and refusing to do housework. However, do they think this is because they have never allowed children to do it before, taking on too many things by themselves, until they can’t stand it, they blame their children for not knowing how to help their parents.
“Letting go” of you is loving you
In daily family education, parents need to let go so that their children can arrange their own lives. Many parents will think, not reminding children will not learn. It is true that without being reminded, children will not learn. But if parents remind, children will wait to be reminded and then learn. Children will think that they learn for their parents.
When parents “ignore” it, maybe the child will mess things up at first, maybe the day’s schedule is messed up. But, do not forget that the teacher is the only one who reminds and still makes the child understand that the learning belongs to the child. When the teacher punishes the child for being late or not completing the assigned work, the child understands the learning is his or her own, not someone else’s. So let the teacher do her job.
Absolutely do not defend your child when he is scolded by her for being lazy. When I see that both parents and teachers disagree with my lazy behavior, I will definitely correct it. As your child makes progress, praise the effort, not the grades.
One of the ways to practice habits and build a routine for children is to make a schedule. In particular, for students, scheduling activities help them manage their time well, balance study and play to ensure health and comprehensive intellectual and spiritual development. Note, avoid arranging work and study time close to each other. There should be alternating leisure periods so that children are not stressed and bored with learning.
Besides, what parents need to be most concerned about is that they have to know how to control their emotions when talking to their children, especially when it comes to studying. Parents should not yell, argue, but just speak in a normal tone so that the child can fully understand. This kind of respectful and direct communication will help avoid conflict between parents and children, keeping a peaceful atmosphere in the family.